


Shopping for Shepard

by servantofclio



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Shopping, F/M, grunt and garrus pals, shops that are fun to fight through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 08:05:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/servantofclio/pseuds/servantofclio
Summary: Garrus didn’t know how he’d gotten roped into going shopping with Grunt, but… ah, damn it, it’s too much to hope that everything would go smoothly, isn’t it?





	Shopping for Shepard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [franda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/franda/gifts).



> I wrote this fic for the Mass Effect holiday exchange five years ago, and apparently I never posted it to AO3? 
> 
> I thought I'd fix that, as it's suitable to the season. Slightly edited.

“Grunt,” Garrus sighed, “you can get Shepard whatever you want. She’ll like it because it’s from you.”

Grunt rolled a giant blue eye in his direction. “No,” he growled, “it has to be _right_. So shut up and help me.”

Why Grunt had roped Garrus into being his shopping consultant, Garrus had no idea. Unless Wrex had suggested it. That was probably it. One more thing to take up with Wrex the next time he saw him: the fact that he was trapped in a store full of shiny distractions, with Grunt’s hulking form blocking his path to the exit. “You could get her another ship model,” he suggested, glancing at the models on display—quite a few of them with working lights and other moving parts, which made him want to take a closer look.

Grunt made a grumbling noise. “Doesn’t she have all the ones she wants?” He wandered along the aisle until he spotted something that caused a glint in his eye, reaching a massive hand toward it. “What about this?”

“She does not need the new Captain Cosmic Action Figures Thresher Maw Carnage play set,” Garrus said, crossing his arms as he identified the box.

“Why not?” Grunt growled. “It’s right here. The thresher maw pops up and roars at you.”

“Because that’s what _you_ want,” Garrus said, irritable. “It’s no good getting Shepard a present if you’re going to stare at it until she gives it to you for your collection.”

Grunt glared at him. Garrus stared back. There was a pretty good chance that Shepard would, in fact, enjoy the Thresher Maw Carnage play set, except that it was obviously supposed to go with Garr the Battlemaster, which was Grunt’s toy, not Shepard’s. The thing was also way too big to store easily in Shepard’s quarters, no matter how oversized they were. “Fine,” Grunt muttered, dropping his hand to his side. “What, then?”

Garrus shrugged. “Some more fish for the aquarium?”

The krogan scowled. “Fish aren’t interesting.”

“Shepard likes them.”

“Fish are for eating,” Grunt muttered, and Garrus had to suppress a grin.

They moved along the aisle, while Grunt grumbled to himself about the options and Garrus wondered how long this was going to take. He sighed while Grunt leaned over to look at something on the bottom shelf. “Heh,” he said. “Look at this.”

Garrus sighed again and crouched, nudging Grunt with his elbow until he could see what the krogan was looking at. It was a Commander Shepard action figure, one of the ones they’d made just after the Battle of the Citadel. Although the box was a little battered, the figure inside looked to be in perfect condition. Although— “It doesn’t even look like her,” Garrus complained.

Grunt shrugged. “It’s close enough.”

“It doesn’t look like her at all!” The molded features were much harsher, and the shape of the eyes was all wrong. Garrus had never looked closely at one of the figures before—it had just seemed weird—but now he felt offended on Shepard’s behalf.

“Not the right size to go with Garr, though…” Grunt mumbled, mostly to himself. Garrus rolled his eyes.

Of course, that was when he heard the salarian store clerk say, “Look, I don’t want any trouble.”

“Then maybe you shoulda made your payments on time.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Garrus muttered. Sure, they weren’t in the best part of the wards, but shaking a shopkeeper down for protection money on the Citadel? In public? Was it really possible the thug, whoever he was, hadn’t seen them? Then again, C-Sec had been stretched really thin lately. It made sense that the Citadel’s criminals would take advantage. Still, this was like Shepard’s own luck.

He risked a quick peek over the top of the row of shelves in front of him. A burly human male stood in front of the counter, while the salarian clerk stood back on his side, hands raised. “I’ll call C-Sec,” he said.

The human laughed. “You do that. Maybe they’ll find out about the rest of your merchandise. Maybe I should tip them off myself.”

“Look, I’ll have the credits, I just don’t have them now.”

“Isn’t that a shame?” said the human.

At Garrus’s side, Grunt shifted. “Enforcers coming in,” he rumbled.

Garrus didn’t have a good view of the front of the store. “How many?” he whispered. He was a little surprised Grunt hadn’t already charged out after them. 

Grunt leaned sideways, sniffed the air, and grinned. “Three or four humans, I think. One krogan.”

Garrus nodded. He could call C-Sec, of course. Likely the salarian already had, or somebody else soon would. But there wasn’t much point in waiting for C-Sec to respond when he and Grunt were right there. “All right. You take the ones at the entrance. I’ll deal with the one in here and back you up. Don’t kill them,” he added hastily. “C-Sec should be here in a few minutes.”

“Hey, what’s that?”

They’d been talking quietly, but the human in the shop must have heard them. “Now,” said Garrus, and Grunt took off like a shot, amazingly fast for a krogan that big. He knocked half a dozen boxes off the shelf as he went, the contents crashing to the floor in a shower of brightly colored plastic. For once, he didn’t bellow one of his war cries, but the krogan at the entrance snarled something that made Garrus’s translator glitch.

Garrus himself went the opposite direction, drawing his sidearm. This was no place for an assault rifle. He still couldn’t see the human—there were at least two, maybe three, aisles’ worth of shelves in the way, but he could hear another crash and an outraged cry from the salarian.

“Hey! Watch the merchandise!”

“Shut up,” the human growled.

“How am I supposed to pay you if you break all my inventory?”

Good question, Garrus thought, reaching the end of the aisle and taking a quick look around the end. He could hear Grunt laughing now amid the thuds of fists, and a more distant siren—yeah, C-Sec ought to be on the way by now, with Grunt pounding on some gang out by the entrance.

Garrus pulled back quickly as the human fired in his direction. Rapid fire; submachine gun. Might not be much more than an annoyance, but a stray shot could do some damage, and that would be just silly. He could just picture himself explaining to Shepard how he’d managed to get shot this time.

“Who’s over there? Get out here!” the human bellowed.

Ducking back behind the shelving, Garrus pulled a plush hanar off the shelf and tossed it into the air as he kept moving. The hanar exploded in a cloud of fluffy white stuffing, drawing another squawk from the salarian. There was another crash—was the human climbing over the damned shelves? Could be.

“Stop hiding, whoever you are!”

Yeah, sounded like the human was closer. Another burst of SMG fire, intended to make Garrus keep his head down. The hell with that. Garrus grabbed a box off the shelf and heaved it over the shelving without looking. Just a little bit of distraction. He heard a satisfying yelp and thud and dashed for the end of the aisle, wheeling around and bringing up his own pistol.

Sure enough, the burly human was sprawled on the floor, amid— _oh crap_ —the pieces of the Captain Cosmic Action Figures Thresher Maw Carnage play set. The toy thresher maw led out a tinny roar, which only barely resembled the real thing. The human still had his SMG in hand and whipped it in Garrus’s direction. “Drop it,” Garrus snapped in his best cop voice, unused for the last couple of years.

“Listen to the turian!” Grunt hollered from the entrance, and settled the question by grabbing one of the human’s comrades around his neck and throwing him so that the two men collided in a groaning pile. “Ha! This is fun, Garrus!”

“Fun, right,” Garrus said, keeping an eye on the two humans on the floor. It wasn’t quite a classy antiques shop—or an electronics store—but it had been pretty good.

Garrus was glad he had some pull, or he would have been answering C-Sec’s questions for a lot longer. Grunt’s utter glee in getting to pummel some thugs right on the Citadel didn’t help matters any; Garrus could tell that the officers, once they’d arrived, really wanted to arrest him. To top matters off, the salarian was distraught and highly annoyed, and demanded that they pay for all the damaged merchandise.

Which was how Garrus ended up marching into Shepard’s apartment with a box containing the hastily reassembled Thresher Maw Carnage play set, with most of its pieces intact. The toys were surprisingly durable—only one of the little marines had gotten squashed.

Shepard greeted him with her hands planted on her hips. “What the hell happened? Bailey called and said there’d been an incident?”

Garrus sighed. “It’s, uh, kind of a long story.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He might as well just get it out. “Some gang decided to go after the owner of a toy shop for protection money while we were in there.” He held out the box. “Grunt wanted to get you this.”

Shepard’s eyes widened as she took in the story and then got a good look at the box. “The Thresher Maw Carnage play set?” She took the box out of his hands almost reverently.

“Yeah, well…” Garrus scratched the back of his neck. “You know Grunt.”

Shepard smiled, one of those smiles that seemed to make his insides twist up. “I do know Grunt. This’ll be fun.”

“I think he’ll be over later. C-Sec wanted to lecture him some more.”

She set the box to one side. “And what did you get me? Something else to play with?” Her smile was turning sly.

“Um, well, I… yeah. They had… one of these.” He revealed the other box he was carrying, the one with the Commander Shepard figure.

“Wow. I remember when they licensed these, but I don’t think I saw the finished product.” She took the box and looked the figure over. “Hm. It’s not a bad likeness, I guess.”

“It’s not nearly as beautiful,” Garrus said, unable to stop himself.

Shepard looked up with surprise and then grinned. “Why, Garrus Vakarian. Is that a romantic streak I see?”

“Well, you—”

Her smile turned positively impish as she eased toward him and draped her arms over his shoulders. “Thank you for the toy.”

His throat was going dry. “You’re welcome.”

“But I think right now I’d rather play with you.”

“That’s fine by me,” he said, leaning down until his forehead rested on hers. He had to admit the trip to the store had been fun—courtesy of some criminals—but being here with her was so much better.


End file.
